Temperament Tendencies The DISC of it, Part #2: the art of making adjustments
by, Jeanine Fitzgerald
Jeanine Fitzgerald is a Certified Human Behavior Consultant and Specialist, Certified Educator, Master Trainer and Author of “The Dance of Interaction”, a book in which the concepts of temperament profiles are clearly and joyously explained.
Excerpt from Part 1
Temperament is the way we are wired genetically and it influences how we live life. It is the actual, measurable frame of reference in which we develop a "style for life" called our behavioral style. Behavioral styles are predictable patterns of relating, acting and interacting with the world that surrounds us. While we all live under the same sky, we all have different horizons.
One four-model approach to behavior is called the “DISC” profile.
Temperament Background Information:
Every home consists of uniquely designed people, each having their own inherent behavioral style. Each has their own likes and dislikes, different needs and energy levels, as well as different perspectives about and ways to approach life. These differences, when not understood, have the potential to increase tension in relationships until the fabric unravels beyond repair. To minimize or eliminate this possibility requires knowledge about how to parent in a way which honors each child's "designer genes."
There is no doubt that each child requires a different parenting approach.
Finding the Best Fit
Flexing or adjusting our behavioral style to honor another is essential to reducing tension, conflict and chaos in relationships and the home. It requires parents to discern each child's patterns, fundamental needs and motivations. For example, one child may thrive on public recognition, while another needs a sense of power.
Many parenting challenges stem from a difference in perception - a parent sees a situation from a different point of view than a child. Some parents are not willing to adjust in these situations, so tensions rise. Others are willing to adjust but lack the knowledge to do so effectively.
Adjusting begins with recognizing how your perception as a parent may confuse, cloud, or hinder the relationship with a child or how it enhances it. For example, a parent who is active, adventurous and driven to achieve may pressure and expect too much from a quiet-natured, cautious child.
Adjusting requires seeing a child from a strength-based perspective, rather than in terms of limitations or deficits. An example of this is a parent who is energized by the social world, and perceives a child who wants to stay home and read as being "broken" in some way.
Adjusting requires a parent to become a student of a child. To learn what encourages him, what motivates him, and how to communicate with him.
It is the parent's responsibility to discover where the child and adult fit together easily and where the sparks fly.
While formulas are always tempting to follow, relationships are more complex than a simple formula. However, when a parent understands behavioral styles - one’s own and one’s child, parenting practices which enhance connection, understanding and balance come into focus.
Insights for Parenting Example-A Child With A "D/I" Blend:
A child who leans toward comfort in what is called the "D/I" temperament blend:
Prefers to stay active and stay active with others, as well as juggle many balls at the same time.
Is experience-oriented, pioneering and adventuresome
Is energized by a problem to be solved or a conflict to be resolved
Demands a lot from himself and others
Embraces variety and freedom from structure
Has high highs and low lows
These insights guide the most efficient and effective ways to honor a child with a "D/I" blend. Therefore, the priorities for parenting include:
Creating opportunities for the child to work and play hard
Teaching the child to slow down and think things through
Creating opportunities for the child to learn and practice leadership, including accepting boundaries without argument
Creating opportunities for setting goals and achieving them
Disciplining with "choices within parameters," natural consequences, logical consequences, reframing no, and effective commands
For further information about the art of adjustable parenting, read Jeaninne Fitzgerald’s book, “The Dance of Interaction” or,